Houston, we have a problem. You see I was counting on the end of the world having come to pass by now, and as a result I didn’t really see the point in making any Christmas preparations this year – sending out cards seemed pointless, I didn’t bother buying any gifts, and worst of all haven’t pre-ordered a turkey from the local butcher…
Hopefully the supermarkets will come to my rescue on the food front, as no doubt the in-laws will still expect the usual festive feast next Tuesday, although with any luck they will all have ran out of sprouts. Please Tesco, I’m counting on you.
As for gifts, well I’m resigned to the fact that I’ll just need to don some suitably protective clothing and brave what is sure to be a manic frenzy of stressed shoppers on the High Street this weekend, scrambling for precious stocks of this year’s ‘must have’ gifts and hunting down any early January sale bargains. Ordering online at this stage is far too risky given Amazon’s servers are sure to go into meltdown with the imminent bombardment of post-apocalyptic, pre-Christmas orders. Order up until lunchtime Sunday for delivery before Christmas? Yeah, that’ll be right – next you’ll be telling me reindeer can fly.
So that just leaves Christmas cards, and since Postman Pat’s little red van hasn’t got a hope of delivering them in time now (even if Jess agrees to working late on Christmas Eve), I needed to come up with an alternative solution, and you’re reading it now!
So apologies for not sending you a card this year, or if you end up getting a pair of socks or box of chocolates instead of the iPad Mini you really wanted, and can I just wish you all a happy, healthy, stress-free, fun-filled Christmas full of festive cheer! May you share this one with your nearest and dearest family and friends, thinking of those who for whatever reason can’t be with you at this, the most wonderful time of year.